Knife Eating.

The most important thing needs to be addressed right now.

Have you ever heard of “knife-eating.” Pity. 

It is the most invigorating way to eat an apple. And it has recently been given a name.
Tutorial on how to Knife-Eat:
1. Go to a farmer’s market, Harmons, your tree
2. Pick an apple. Preferable one that is ripe.
3. Wash with water that you won’t contract viruses from.
4. Get a knife. Personally I use a plain butter knife to add to the feel of rusticity.**
5. Cut into your apple, one slice at a time.
6. Realize you have been eating your apples wrong all along.
7. Smile.
**I had no idea rusticity is actually a word. Until I wanted to use it, and I typed it, and Spell check had nothing against me using it.

Let’s move on to bigger and better things. Such as: Home Remedies.
What in the world could this entail?

·         Why did I need home remedies? Nausea. For 5 straight days.**

Russians truly believe that you can heal any and every sickness with random things they brew together. Your throat is sick? Stick boiling hot pads on your throat, drink some warm milk with lemon and honey and you will be good to go. Oh, do I hear you coughing? Let me steam some potatoes and stick your head in the steam for five minutes. You are nauseas? Let me give you water mixed with apricot juice mixed with what looks like to be rancid marshmellows that stick to the side of your glass. [I honestly have no idea what it was. But, actually it did make me feel better. Maybe it was because it made me throw up it was so gross.]

 And, I’m pretty sure I contracted a virus from the water. Cool.

Don't worry friends. I am better.